YOUR BRAIN IS A MUSCLE

Contrary to popular belief, you cannot exercise your brain in any other way but thinking. Although this may prove painful for some people, it is the only way you can give your cerebellum a workout.

Many people who are physically fit have failed to exercise the musicle that seems to need the most working on.  I see these people all the time making inane comments, pointing out the cultural value of reality shows, and generally assuming they have worked out their brain while exerting the hundreds of other muscles that seem more toned.

Can your brain become weak and undernourished? Will your brain atrophy with excessive television watching, magazine reading or drinking coffee around pretentious and vacuos people? The answer is yes. In a survey which I have yet to publish, I have annotated several frightening examples of brain attrition and compensatory aggression. That, I forgot to mention is a frightening side effect of brain erosion.

The most terrible example of brain dissimulation is that of an overly social person who has premeditated conversations based on popular culture.  My findings support identifying shows such as Survivor, Deal Or No Deal, and truly mindless programs like The View as having  a thought-sucking affect that constitutes brain paralysis. You will note that the unfortunate viewers of these programs have a glossy stare and tend to migrate to Starbucks for caffeine inculcation.  The most insidious affect yet is the CSI phenomenon where average human beings develop a morbid need to express everything as though it had a forensic, coroner’s office, pathological bent.  Carpet fibres, breath mints….nothing is sacred. They can’t even look at a carpet without thinking about homicide or forensic residue. Forensic residue…that’s my cat you’re talking about. 

The brain cannot be stored in a bowling ball case until we have to use it again. We carry it around whether we use it o not. It may only weigh a few pounds, but it can become hyper lightweight without regular exercise and feeding.  Try reading Harper’s magazine, or if you think that is too rich and may make your noggin hyperventilate, try anything that doesn’t contain the words “scandal, divorce, alien or George W. Bush. It will be uplifting and will be akin to your brain using free weights. I urge you to undertake a regular regimen of hefting a thought or two. You will have a perfectly shaped mind!