ARROGANCE AS A REPELLENT

In modern self-help literature, the catch-all phrases such as personal  power, engineered destiny and “you’re so great” are repeated like the Star Trek prime directive.  Be less accommodating, be less concerned with someone else’s needs. Think of yourself and the big picture (your big picture, remember that NO ONE is as important as you are.)

In business we are advised to be determined, stealthy and more directly, focused on getting what we want at all costs.  In  relationships, the advice is “focus on an object and acquire this object (read person if you cannot grasp the concept) at all costs.  Now it doesn’t really matter if what you want can be gotten  only through malevolent, disloyal or downright amoral or collusive actions, just get what you want.

The world is no longer full of temptation and attractive dead ends, but streams and tributaries, that although likely to wash us over a falls or through life-threatening rapids have to be experienced. Do we think of ourselves as invincible, better, stronger, faster when we do the unthinkable or see ourselves as the highest life form in our personal jungle?

Risk reduction, caution or planning can only result in  a vague dyspepsia or ennui and who needs that? The books, DVDs and television programs all remind us that nice people won’t be telling you anything much any time soon  because they are not winners, ergo, we will NEVER see them anywhere (maybe at a buck store, as that’s where THOSE people shop).

Every self-help guru talks about self-actualization through the purchase of their products.  Thus, we can experience self-realization as “some guy’s” self realization, second  hand.  It would be like someone else trying on clothing for you and expecting it to fit.

Many years ago I met a really ambitious fellow who said to a group of fellow employees that he would get ahead without the very provincial attitudes we had. “Who needs someone else’s approval, and why do I have to consider whether  what I do impacts others. People should duck when they see me coming.”. We did and so did many other people. After brief success this person found themselves job-hopping and generally being treated like a pariah. Was it that he was not enough of a predator? Did he not focus as forcefully on himself and his own needs as he should have?

The truth is that life as a journey puts us all on a big bus. We are in one of many seats, closer or further from the front. The object is to enjoy the ride and get out where you want to be. Hijacking the bus or being a disagreeable passenger may not get you ejected from your seat…….but the ride is smoother and more fun when everyone understands the rules on the bus. Don’t push. Don’t make a mess. Don’t try to get off in the wrong place. Wait until the bus stops to get off. Easy rules, no pressure.

Many philosophers identify what is important in the life of a man or woman. Bertrand Russel says the only place not to exercise extreme caution is in love. He also said of our common journey:
"The most valuable things in life are not measured in monetary terms. The really important things are not houses and lands, stocks and bonds, automobiles and real state, but friendships, trust, confidence, empathy, mercy, love and faith.”

Dean Koontz described “what it takes” to experience that which is real success this way:
"Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy."

Success in reaching our professional goals, the art and ardour of love and the constancy of real friendship constitute the things that can truly be transcendental for human beings. The level of peril we expose ourselves to as avaricious, selfish, manipulative and dishonest beings is simply not worth it. Try authenticity, compassion and focused hard work on for size.

These characteristics take us away from turmoil, pain and paranoia to peace and goodness. Homer spoke of his own maturation this way:
"Yet, taught by time, my heart has learned to glow for other's good, and melt at other's woe."

Choose light over might.