LOYALTY, WHAT OF IT?

In historical and popular literature we are assailed with the jealousies, misery and world conflict set in motion by betrayal, dishonesty and breaches of public and personal trust.

Loyalty and fidelity are the two real reasons to form relationships. The ego driven and capricious relationship focuses on social commonality, money, caste and social position. Along with these formulaic and premeditated motivations for forming alliances of all sorts, we find the natural and “old brain” contexts of strongest, prettiest and most-like ourselves. The old brain assessed probabilities of survival with a partner who seemed strong, was attractive and could produce progeny.

With any luck, our old brain seeks out a person who we can also respect, adore and spend a considerable chunk of our lives with. The most integral part of trusting someone is that we do not have to live with a nagging suspicion of anything. Is this person faithful? Does this person care about our integrity and are they invested in our well being?

There are no tests or safeguards to seek out the qualities that personify an individual’s capacity for honour and fidelity. Someone’s appearance, humour, history and charm are obvious. Looking for the hidden treasure of compassion, loyalty and commitment to a person, place or thing is different. Our observations over time yield this information and our judgement is formed by what we see.

Take the time to woo and be wooed. If you have a partner who has proven their mettle in the past, kiss the ground they walk on, and if you are looking for someone with good character, identify those qualities in yourself. The most apt anecdote about “the right person” comes from the nineteenth century and Charles Dickens:

“A heart well worth winning, and well won. A heart that, once won, goes through fire and water for the winner, and never changes, and is never daunted.”

- Charles Dickens.

You won’t find all of this easily, and you may have to rediscover it in someone you already know. There is no greater peace than trust and an abiding certainty that your partner or companion is elemental. Always there. Emotions changing velocity and direction now qnd again, but moving through the world with you as collaborator and companion.